One More With Feeling (and another, and another…)

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I have an art piece I was working on for this round, but it’s taking a lot longer than I expected. So instead, have a short one-shot from the Fancy Archives, and keep an eye out for that art during the solstice free-for-all!

Title: One More With Feeling (and another, and another…)
Era/season/setting: Season 6
Rating: T

Summary: Buffy deals with Spike’s song in OMWF a little bit differently. AKA Spuffy, now with communication!

She might be swooning. A little.

A lot.

Which was very much NOT okay, given the context of the song he’d just sung.

As sexy as his voice was, and his dance moves, and… god, just EVERYTHING about him, she couldn’t use that to justify hurting him.

Wanting him didn’t make that right.

Needing him didn’t make it right.

“If that’s… if that’s what you want,” she said, sitting up slowly and pushing herself off him. “Thank you… thank you for being there, at least for a while.”

She climbed out of the grave and began walking away, heart breaking a little at his silence. She only made it a couple steps away before she couldn’t bear it anymore and called back.

“And for what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

She’d only made it a few more steps before she felt his hand on her arm.

“Buffy, wait.”

She wasn’t sure what to say, so she just turned around and looked up into his eyes.

“That was stupid of me, pet, and not something I’d actually planned on saying to you tonight, barring whatever’s got Sunnydale singing to no one.”

“But you’ve been thinking it, though. Because I’m hurting you.”

“‘M a tough vamp, Slayer, I can handle some pain. And if my mind wasn’t a right git, I’d be totally happy giving you what you need instead of having this part of my mind with its own agenda.”

“Spike, you deserve someone who can give you what you need, who doesn’t have so little left that she can barely get by. I’m broken, Spike, don’t you understand? I can’t DO anything for you.”

She wasn’t sure when along the line she’d decided that dating Spike was a real possibility, but once there, she went with it. Her mind was too tired to fight the truth about anything else.

Spike stepped closer, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t want you to do anything, Buffy. Don’t want you for what you can do for me. Just want you to BE there with me when you can. I want you to come to me when you need someone.”

“I did, though. You know… you know.”

Her eyes flitted down, breaking eye contact, and he squeezed her shoulder tighter. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

“And I don’t think I’d have gotten this far without you, but I can’t be selfish.”

Spike sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Don’t need anything back, Slayer.”

“That’s not what you sang.”

“Christ, Buffy. I sang it, I didn’t say it. It isn’t bothering me enough for me to tell you on my own, or I would have. I know you’re going through a lot, ’s why I haven’t asked for more of my own volition.”

“But I know now, and ignoring it would make me selfish. It isn’t right to be around you if it hurts you. It’s not fair to take the comfort you give me but give you nothing in return.”

“Oh bloody hell.” He threw his hands up and turned away for a minute. “You want to pay me? Kiss me, and we’ll call it even.”

At the confused look on her face he elaborated further.

“That’s my fee, so you can stop feeling so sodding guilty. You kiss me…” He paused for a moment. “That, and one other thing.”

He felt her tense under his fingers.  She nodded for him to go on.

“If you feel like you want to kiss me after that, don’t hold back. Whenever you want to, don’t hold back.”

Her face screwed up in confusion.

“So, your fee for helping me keep my shit together is to kiss you once now, and then again if the urge strikes?”

“Got it in one, Slayer.”

She took a deep breath, coming to terms with what she was about to say. She didn’t know what she would do without him, honestly, and it wasn’t like she didn’t WANT to kiss him. Maybe doing it this once would get it out of her system and then she wouldn’t have any kisses owed under the “don’t hold back” clause.

Without speaking, she stepped forward, reaching her arms up around his neck.

He had that look in his eyes again, that breathtaking one that made her feel like she was the only one on the planet. The one that made her feel more worshipped and loved than any of her past relationships had done.

She didn’t want to stop looking, but she wasn’t one for kissing with her eyes open. So, instead, she let her lashes flutter shut as she leaned in towards him.

As he began to lean in to meet her, she felt him shaking slightly under her arms.

The moment their lips touched it was pure magic. She could feel heat and desire simmering underneath, but his lips were almost unbearably gentle as they caressed hers. After a moment, she felt his tongue press against her lips, and she opened them without thought.

Without a doubt this was the best kiss of her life.  As they began to explore each others’ mouths, he pulled her fully into his embrace. His hands were spread across her back and sides, trying to touch as much of her as possible, and she felt so safe pressed up against him.

When she finally pulled back to breathe, Spike’s gaze on her turned anxious.

“Think that’ll ever happen again?”

Instead of responding, she pulled him into another kiss.

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