Fic Intrmezzo 4

This entry is part 4 of 8 in the series Intermezzo
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Literary Intermezzo Four:
Summary: A peek into the Diary of Buffy A. Summers and the Secret, Highly Confidential Journal of one William T. Bloody, these volumes were discovered in the rubble that was once the town of Sunnydale, California.
Setting: S5 after FFL
Disclaimer:All Btvs and Angel characters and rights belong to Joss Whenon and ME, WB and FOX. I own nothing and derive no compensation for the original story ideas using these characters.

~*~
Dear Diary,

I really wish I had some clue about what to do about S … you know who. I mean, I want him like all the time but then I can’t wait to get away. I know I’m really mean to him too and he really doesn’t deserve that.

When I was dea um gone, he took good care of Dawnie and helped the guys lots. He was nothing but sweet to me, until I started wacking him around that is. Even then he’s nicer to me than I am to him.

It’s not real. It can’t be. If a vamp can love with no soul then Angel would have loved me and he didn’t. Spike just thinks he loves me. Probably because Angel had me first. Still, he’s so sweet most of the time. He really is my willing slave. I must be a bad person to use him like this, I must have come back wrong.

But sometimes, it isn’t really like I’m using him. I really want to be with him, I want it to BE him. Then I remember, it CAN’T be him! It’s just hopeless and I am so tired of only feeling bad all the time. Sigh…

B.

“My love makes me Ash”, a Sonnet by W. T. Bloody

A love that brings such deep pain and burning,
Should cause this Vamp to run, this man to hide.
Still I hover near, heart ever yearning,
One day you’ll see the man I am inside.
I try, I change, my needs are very small.
A look, a touch a fond smile from my love,
One glance from you once more so deep I fall
As far as hell from heaven up above.
I hurt, I soar, I dream to win your heart,
But cold you stay no matter what I do
To run from you would be an act most smart.
Yet hurt me, hate me, still I stay yours true.
Till finally dust, for your love I will hope
The pain it burns, yet I shall ever cope.

 

Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/42728.html

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