Fic: Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored

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Title: Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored
Author: fancyflautist
Era/season/setting: early Season 2
Rating: NC-17

Notes: this is a super strange piece based on an Ariana Grande song. The music video for the song can be found here. Enjoy!

Buffy Summers had a knack for finding songs that fit her situation, and this was no exception.

From the moment Spike appeared outside the Bronze telling her he was going to kill her, she was hooked. And god, yeah, she knew she shouldn’t be. He was evil, he’d almost killed her on parent-teacher night, he’d turned her old friend, he had a girlfriend, and- oh yeah, he’s EVIL.

But, fuck it all, he was SO hot. And she’d never gotten her bad boy kicks out- wasn’t that something every teenager was supposed to do? Angel had been mysterious, sure, but he was so… proper. No fun at all for wild teenage fantasies.

She knew there were peaceful demons out there, and that Master vampires had way more control than the fledges she fought on a regular basis. So why, for once in her life, couldn’t she just have what she wanted?  A bad boy, not a serial-killer boy.

The world hated her, that’s why.

But at least there was music to make her feel better. So that’s how she ended up in her bedroom dancing around with a hairbrush after a particularly brutal one-on-one with him in the cemetery.

“Break up wit’ your girlfriend, yeah yeah, cause I’m bored” she sang, swaying across the room, dancing sluttier that she’d ever let herself in public. As the song ended, she hit repeat, not noticing the glow of a cigarette down by the tree outside her window.


From where he stood, under the tree in her yard and looking up through her window, Spike was entranced. He knew he shouldn’t be here, acting like the bloody Grand Poof, but after so many fights he decided he needed a better idea of who this chit was.

Or at least, that was his excuse. He tried very hard not to think about the fact that he was mostly curious as to what she did after their fights when he could smell her arousal as they danced.

And definitely not about what he’d walked in on Dru doing with a Fyarl (a goddamn FYARL) after he’d sought out the slayer that night.

“Take one fucking look at your face, now I wanna know how you taste.”

His mouth went dry, mind flooded with images of her lips on his, her lips on his neck, her lips… elsewhere. He didn’t think he’d ever seen a more tempting image than Buffy Summers in a tiny tank top and shorts, dancing through her window and basically telling him to leave Dru and her cheating behind.

She couldn’t be thinking of him, he knew that. It was probably some high school poofter who didn’t know how to open his eyes and see what was right in front of him. He tried to ignore the underlying jealousy that thought brought up.  At least it would piss Angelus off, his girlfriend mooning over some other bloke.

He watched her for a while longer, closing his eyes and groaning as she did a particularly sexy body roll.

Iit was at that moment that a slightly slap happy slayer decided to change up the lyrics.

“And you at home like, damn, Dru can’t compare”

His eyes snapped open. There was no way. No way in hell. She couldn’t be. She was thinking of him?

As the song ended, his vampire hearing picked up the confirmation he simultaneously craved and dreaded.

Buffy threw herself down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “Goddamn bleached menace with the face and the cheekbones and the stupid crazy girlfriend”

Jesus fuck. The slayer had the hots for him.

There was only one thing he could do…


“Thought you might be interested to know that Dru and I broke up.” Spike said, materializing from the shadows of the alley behind the Bronze.

While her inner-Buffy was doing the Snoopy-Dance-of-Joy at that statement, she forced herself to keep her calm cool slayer act.

“Why would you think I’d care?”

“Oh, I think you know why.”

She tried to turn away from him but he trapped her against his body, hands on either side of her face as he leaned against the wall.

At that, she forced herself to look him in the eyes (his goddamn gorgeous ocean blue eyes that were honestly going to be the death of her) and somehow kept the act together.

“You’re evil. You eat people. Why the hell would I care about your relationship status?”

She pulled her eyes away as soon as she finished speaking, not trusting herself to withstand his voice and eyes at the same time.

“I’d bag it for a chance with you, pet. Heard you the other night, decided to take your advice. Figure I’ve been plenty bored too.”

Her eyes shot back to his and the deer in headlights look was honestly adorable. She tried to stammer a response but he cut her off.

“Now, now, love.” His voice was low and sultry. “No use denying it. Besides, why would you want to when you’ve got this tight, luscious bod right in front of you. Ready and willing.”

Buffy bit her lip, stifling a groan. She leaned her head back against the building, looking up at the sky with a whispered “fuck it” before her mouth was on his, devouring.

The universe was giving her what she’d asked for, and damn if she was going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Much, anyways.

She pulled away for air. “No more eating people?” She gasped.

“Just you.”

He leered at her with a raised eyebrow, and she threw herself back into the kiss. He hands grabbed her ass, and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around him.

“Mm, Spike!” She moaned loudly, holding him to her as tightly as she could.

He moved his lips to her throat, murmuring as he nipped and teased her skin. “Oh god… yeh… Buffy, you taste so good.”

She ground herself against his denim-clad erection and they both gasped.

“Is this actually happening?”

Spike chuckled. “Seems to be. Dream about the Big Bad often, pet?”

She blushed slightly. “Sometimes. You spy on my window often?”

He didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.

”Sometimes. Know you get hot when we fight, Slayer, wanted to see what you do to take care of it.”

He kissed her again, reaching up under her shirt to caress her nipples. She moaned into his mouth, pressing herself against him wildly.

The spell was broken when she heard voices from outside the alley, growing closer. Familiar voices- Willow, Xander, and Angel.


“Fuck. Shit.” She pulled away quickly, wiping her mouth off and adjusting her clothes. She looked him in the eyes, horrified with herself. “I have a boyfriend.”

Spike’s voice was low in her ear. “But you still want me?”

She nodded, her voice coming out as barely a whisper. “I still want you.”

He pulled back, smiling down at her.

“Suppose there’s only one thing you can do, then.”

She looked at him quizzically, and he bent back down to whisper in her ear.

“It’s your turn for a breakup, love.”

She whipped her head around, but he was already gone, disappeared into the shadows. The voices were almost upon her, and she took a deep breath to steady herself for what she was about to do.

She was going to break up with her boyfriend.

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