Evidence of a Liaison, A lost (Elf) Memory
Beta work by Niamh
Riley Finn looked at the ‘award’ his team had received from the rest of the unit and wanted to hit someone, just about anyone. “Best in show”, was not something he wanted in his file. It wasn’t bad enough that his team was taken out like rookies and still didn’t know by what or whom. It wasn’t bad enough that after such a humiliating experience his so called girlfriend had to humiliate him and his team more, no . . . then some lunkhead had to leave a radio channel on throughout the entire thing. Now they had to deal with the harassment of the rest of the base about bondage rituals in cemeteries.
As soon as he had seen Hostile Seventeen, he had been thinking about a his possible reward for recapturing him. A Certificate of Achievement, an ARCOM medal maybe? Either would have made it much easier to make it from Captain to Major. To him, the recapture was simply a career move, but the damn vampire was too fast and too cagey, forcing him to in backup immediately. Yet in the end they had played right into the hostile’s hands. The rescue had knocked them all out and the Slayer showing up was very likely the only thing that saved them.
And that was a rub. If Buffy had just saved them, he still might have received some recognition from his Superiors, after all it was his girlfriend — potential spouse?– that had saved eighteen soldiers from death at the hands of a Master Vampire and his cronies. However, Buffy and that friend of hers, Xander, had started in on their quipping and made fools of him and his men. Why would a woman do that to her man? Had she never heard Patsy? “Stand by your man” An army wife needed to live by that, she needed to know that her man’s mission was more important than anything else. He would truly have to talk to Buffy about her attitude.
Then . . . then came the radio and the fact that everyone, everyone heard his girl quipping about bondage, and since she was the Slayer they had decided that he must be the one being tied up and whipped. He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the very thought, a woman, any woman, even the slayer tying him up and spanking him. In Buffy’s own words? ‘As if.’
Somehow, someway, he had to live through this and get himself and his soldiers out of the doghouse. He had to figure out how the heck to show Buffy how she was supposed to act and how she was supposed to comport herself around his friends. She was the slayer, she had a duty to her friends, her calling, and to him, and it was high time she started acting like it.
William the Bloody woke early to look around his ‘new’ home. It was a huge mansion, setting on thirty acres with more than twenty bedrooms. The basement itself was divided into three bedrooms and a large ‘sitting’ area, where he now had a brand new hdtv, sixty-three inches of the clearest picture around, all hooked to a satellite and a dvd player. Spike was in heaven even before he saw the complete collection “Passions” dvds. Add in surround sound and a stereo to kill for? And he was in Vamp heaven.
“See something you like?” queried a sultry voice through the partially opened door.
Spike looked back to see the same busty Elf from the night before, dressed less provocatively, but still an annoying bint. “Yeah, this System is bloody perfect.”
“Not the answer I usually get from heterosexual men.” Helwyr said as she glided into the room moving like slow hard sex.
“Yeah?” Spike said as he turned around. He looked her up and down as he smirked and tilted his head slightly, then continued. “I know this game, ducks. I bend you over a chair, shag you till neither of us can say our names, then? You have my balls in your pocket and only let me use them now and then when you feel like it. Lived like that once, never again.”
Even her laughter was erotic as she stepped closer and slowly ran her fingers from his belt buckle up to his chin. “You will though, William, I knew it wasn’t me, but I know the face of your doom . . . pretty blonde, hazel eyes and a cute little nose. She will truly lead you around by your… balls, but lucky for you… will feel the same way.”
And with that her whole demeanor changed to pure business. “You know twenty years is a long time?”
“Yeah I kind of get that, luv. But he seems an all right boy.” Spike replied. “And since Elves age so much slower than humans we will have to move around a lot.”
“Not really.” She answered. “Here in Sunnydale the avoidance factor will keep him safe. That and if we can find a human willing to teach him “
Spike thought for a second, remembering his plans from the night before. “Rupert Giles, he might help. He’s the Watcher for the current Slayer.”
“The Slayer?” Helwyr murmured with a mysterious smile. “You have always had a thing for Slayers, haven’t you?”
“Yeah.” Spike replied his voice distant as he replayed the memories in his head. “The best bloody times of my life or unlife have been spent fighting Slayers.”
“Of course that is it.” The woman was still smiling slightly. “How do you intend to get this Watcher to help us?”
Spike snapped back to the present fighting back images of short skirts and thongs kicking at him. “Best way is just to ask, all he can say is no, the wanker.”
“It was weird, Giles.” Buffy informed her Watcher as she and the others sat around his living room. “They were all just laying around passed out. What kind of demon would have done that and then just left them there, alive?”
“Buffy?” Her watcher began, taking off his glasses and cleaning them frantically. “It is quite likely that whomever did that to them, were only scared away by the presence of the slayer. You most likely saved those soldiers’ lives.”
“Yeah? Try telling that to Riley.” Buffy responded glumly, as she fiddled with the buttons on her blouse. “I got this big speech from him about duty and being a soldier’s ‘woman’ and some singer named Patsy Cline. It seems we humiliated him last night.”
“And they were all just passed out?” Anya asked snuggling up closer to Xander. “No one was there at all?”
“Nope, the big bad Slayer scared then off.” Xander said from his place on the love seat. “They were totally scared of the Buffster.”
“And the Scoobies.” Willow added with a small grin. “Don’t forget the Scoobies.”
“They took out eighteen soldiers then ran from the Slayer?” Anya asked again.
“It would appear so, Anya.” Giles replied. “Most demons are afraid of the Slayer, after all.
“Big bad me.” Buffy put in morosely. “Evil fears me, and my boyfriend wants me to wear a leash.”
“So I guess buying him a whip for his birthday is out then?” Xander asked with a grin as he grabbed more Cheetos from the coffee table.
“Whatever it was took out eighteen humans then ran from three?” Anya asked yet again.
“Yes, Anya, the evil know to fear the Buffster.” Xander retorted growing angry with his girlfriend.
“It just seems silly.” Anya replied. “Whatever it was took out eighteen large men without even really hurting them but was afraid of two women and one man. Most demons can’t even sense the Slayer.”
Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/247575.html