Where’s the Doctor? – Chapter Five

Title: Where’s the Doctor?
Rating: PG at most
Pairing: Spike/Buffy

Summary: Some time ago, I wrote a short fic called Who’s the Doctor?. It was an AU version of “As You Were” that involved some characters from the recent seasons of Doctor Who. I’m having problems categorizing the current fic, because it’s a prequel from the Doctor’s point of view and a sequel from Buffy and Spike’s. As far as BTVS is concerned, it’s during or after an AU Season 6 where Spuffy is a happy reality and all the characters get along, more or less. In the Whoverse, it takes place during Tom Baker’s reign, when he was traveling with Leela.

Chapter One is here.

Chapter 5

“Ah.” The Doctor carefully did not allow his eyes to stray to Spike, although he’d seen the vampire’s reaction to their captor’s words. He’d looked angry and even scared. The Doctor wondered what it would take to frighten Spike. “And just who are you to be interested in a Key, or to even know about it?”

“Ethan Rayne, agent of Chaos,” at your service.” Their captor bowed.

Spike snarled. “We’ll see Maxwell Smart here next, then. What’s that mean?”

The Doctor hoped Ethan didn’t hear the edge of fear behind Spike’s bluster, and moved to draw attention back to himself. “Ah, Chaos. I’ve never understood the lure of that, even for the most determined villain. Do you have any idea just how much Chaos you’d set loose if you were able to use the Key? Something I doubt.”

Ethan waved this aside as a quibble. “I don’t intend to unleash its full force. I’ve found some medieval texts that suggest it can be enslaved and used to manipulate one dimension at a time. I’m not so greedy as to want to control all worlds; I’ll settle for this one.”

Spike growled.

The Doctor continued to ignore everything except Ethan. “How very abstemious of you. But it won’t work, you know. You couldn’t even locate the Key.”

Ethan pouted in annoyance. “No. Instead, I found you. Drew you here, actually. That is what happened, isn’t it? At first I thought that ridiculous box of yours was the Key, but it’s not, although it’s something nearly as interesting. A time machine, am I right?”

“And if you’re right, that should tell you just how incompetent you are at managing time and space.”

Ethan waved a hand and said airily. “Every time I think I’ve sorted out these things, it happens again. Inside, outside. Good, bad. Crunchy, creamy. Space, time.”

The Doctor crossed his arms. “I don’t think you’ve really applied yourself to ‘good, bad.'”

“True, true. Oh, well, I’ll just have to make the best of things.”

“What things would those be?”

“Well, having an expert on time and dimensions in space to advise me, for one.”

“I won’t.” The Doctor beamed as if he’d been invited to tea and rummaged in his pockets. “Jelly baby?”

Ethan ignored the frivolity. “And having one of his companions to torture if he refuses, for another.”

“Balls. I knew I was going to get dragged back into this at the most bloody inconvenient moment.” Spike gestured at the Doctor as he spoke to Ethan. “You’ve gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick, mate. This bloke doesn’t care about me, really. Sad but true. You’ll have to torture him instead. That’s always more effective, anyway. More immediate, so to speak.”

“Not with this fellow, I’m guessing. But since you don’t matter…perhaps I’ll just kill you, as an example of sorts.” Ethan approached Spike’s cell.

“Bugger that,” was all Spike said until the Doctor stared at him. Then he made a face and began whining in an unconvincing tone, “Oh, no, please, don’t kill me. I’ll do anything.”

Ethan sighed like a teacher confronted with a recalcitrant pupil. “It’s obvious you don’t believe I mean what I say.”

“You calling me a liar, mate?” Spike held up his hands and fell to his knees, opening his eyes very wide and grimacing in a parody of fear.

“A liar and a bad actor. I’ve never heard anyone whimper sarcastically before. Oh, well, I’ll just have to prove that I am sincere, even if you are not.” Ethan drew a gun and pointed at Spike.

“Oh, no, don’t,” objected the Doctor in a slightly more convincing voice than the one Spike had used. “Please, don’t hurt him.”

The gun went off.

Ethan looked down at the body lying on the floor and turned to snap at the Fyarl guard. “Get rid of that corpse.” He turned to the Doctor, “Changed your mind?”

The corners of the Doctor’s mouth drooped. “I’m considering it. But if I might have an hour or so to mourn my fallen comrade? I feel quite unequal to being interrogated at the moment.”

“You have fifteen minutes.” Ethan brushed past the Fyarl as he stalked out.

Chapter Six

Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/297746.html