For my last post, I thought I’d share a little one part fic…
Title: Dream Away
Summary: This fic is set a couple years in the future, post NFA, and begins with Buffy being haunted by her memories with Spike. (To clear up any confusion, there are 3 flashbacks; one set during season 6, one post Get It Done, and one set during Touched) The fic cuts between past and present.
‘She was running as fast as her legs would carry her, images blurring together around her, darkness and light themselves bleeding together. Everything was trembling, shaking violently beneath her feet as she fled, but she didn’t care. Her lungs burned, her legs ached, and tears stung her eyes, but that didn’t stop her.
Her only thought was getting to him.
Before it was too late.
She was so close now. She could see the pain in his face, the uncertainty that gleamed forth from those blue depths. It broke her heart.
But as she reached out a soothing hand to caress his face, to assure him that she was there, she gasped in horror and withdrew her hand as though burned. His skin was turning black, slowly melting away before her eyes and she was powerless to stop it. A brilliant light of pure energy shot forth, hot and so incredibly bright it seemed as though the surface of the sun had been momentarily captured and released before her eyes. The light was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, and so was he.
He’d been gone before the ashes even hit the ground, leaving her alone, broken and devastated.’
The dream was always the same, so vivid and bright. It chilled her to the bone. It reopened those familiar wounds that continued to ache despite her best efforts.
Her life had gone on since those final moments before the collapse of Sunnydale, and she’d lived just as she said she would, just as she knew Spike would have wanted her to.
Happy, fulfilled, at peace.
But she’d never forgotten him. How could she? He’d been such a huge part of her life, by her side through thick and thin, loving her when she couldn’t love herself. There wasn’t a day that went by when she hadn’t thought about him.
There were so many memories, so many little moments that she’d keep in her heart forever.
Things hadn’t always been pleasant between them, but they had always been real and brutally honest, sometimes too harsh for her own liking, but exactly what she needed for her own good. Being with Spike had forced her to face the ugliness inside herself and learn to accept it. Which she, in turn, had done for him. In their own special way, they’d saved each other… from themselves. Never before had anyone believed in Buffy the way Spike did. His faith in her had been unwavering, and it gave her strength, it revived her, in the same way that she’d helped Spike find his redemption. The redemption that he so bravely accepted, and that was the reason he wasn’t beside her now.
Contemplating all the twists and turns her life had taken, Buffy slipped into another period of reminiscence, playing those memories over and over in her head as though on a movie reel, fresh and vivid in her mind…
‘She weaved her fingers through his platinum hair and tugged, smashing his mouth to hers, his lips cool and soft against her own. When she felt his tongue tracing the crease of her lips, she parted them, allowing his eager muscle to enter and explore. Spike swallowed her cry of pleasure as he slid two long fingers inside her wet pussy, working them in and out in time with his tongue that plundered her hot mouth. His fingers were cool and persistent, quickly driving her toward her climax, and when he felt her inner walls begin to tighten around his fingers he broke off the kiss abruptly. Pulling back slightly, he watched the pleasure that crossed her face as his thumb brushed her hardened clit.
That did it.
Without warning, Buffy reached her edge and went plummeting over with a scream, clinging to Spike as he bent down and placed a moist open-mouthed kiss to her neck, tracing more kisses up the smooth column of her throat. He could feel the blood rushing just underneath her sweet skin, pumping rapidly through her veins. Brushing his lips underneath her jaw and over her delicate pulse point, Buffy shuddered as his lips brushed the shell of her ear. He began to speak in a low, seductive voice.
“You have feelings for me, slayer. I can taste it…” He bit down on her ear lobe, sending tingles skittering up and down Buffy’s spine.
But she didn’t reply, unable to muster an answer.
Unable to deny the truth of his words.
So instead, she tried to make herself forget.
Straddling him, she quickly pulled her panties aside and sunk down onto him in one steady motion, taking him all the way in until he was embedded so deep the tip of his hardened length touched the entrance to her womb.
“Oh, fuck,” Spike hissed his pleasure, blue eyes rolling back in his head.
Buffy rocked her hips back and forth slightly, throwing her head back as he stretched her, filled her completely. Rolling her hips in a small experimental circle, she threw her head back with a gasp at how good it felt. She could feel his cock throbbing inside of her, and she smiled devilishly, pausing to nip at his jaw before starting to move at a slow, almost teasing pace, letting his cock slip almost completely out of her until only the tip remained buried, before taking him back in to the hilt. But when Spike’s lust darkened eyes looked about ready to pop out of his head from the sheer torturous pleasure, she took pity and began to move faster, bracing her hands against the smooth planes of his chest for support.
“That’s it…” Spike encouraged, and Buffy allowed him to grab her hips, his fingers almost bruising as he helped slam her down continually onto him, the pace becoming increasingly frantic as their most primal needs screamed for fulfillment. Suddenly bolting upright into a sitting position, he wrapped his strong arms around Buffy and she cried out as the new angle of penetration served to hit her in that special sweet spot deep inside, sending jolts of pleasure straight to her womb.
“Oh, God…” Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist, forcing him even deeper still.
Noticing Buffy’s closed eyes, Spike slowed his pace, his grip on her tightening.
“Look at me.” He demanded, though she could sense an underlying vulnerability in his tone.
Her eyes fluttered open, at his mercy and powerless to resist his request. When her eyes met his, emerald meeting sparkling cerulean, she was once again left breathless by the intense look he held for her. The love, the desire, the passion and frustration. She could see it all in the pools of his eyes.
Pushing all negative thoughts of consequences aside for the moment, she rested her forehead against his, allowing a rare tenderness between them. Which was quickly pushed aside as they began to move again, sweat slicked bodies working in perfect syncopation. Buffy soon felt the steam burst within.
“Oh God, Spike, yes!” Buffy bit into his shoulder to muffle her cries as she rode out the force of a very powerful orgasm and, as Spike felt her internal muscles clench him like a vice, he gave one final thrust and came inside her, shooting his cold seed deep within her welcoming heat.
Buffy gasped for breath, trying to recover as they remained intimately joined. She buried her head in the crook of his shoulder, and he relaxed his hold on her slightly, lifting one arm to stroke her blonde hair gently and soothe her while she came down from her high. Buffy sighed, mixed feelings plaguing her as she basked in the afterglow of a mind blowing orgasm, thinking of how her life had changed, how she barely recognized herself anymore, how things had gotten to be so incredibly confusing.
Her eyes fluttering shut, she allowed herself to enjoy the simple show of affection Spike was giving her. Though she knew it wouldn’t last long, as she’d have to leave soon, would force herself to shut down, to close herself off. But in those particular moments, wrapped in Spike’s arms, she could pretend that all was right with the world. The moments were fleeting, but at that very point in time, it was all that mattered.’
Buffy settled into her couch, a warm cup of tea in her hands as she looked about the cozy home that belonged to her, the space that still somehow seemed slightly empty.
Rome had been good to her. She’d had fun, made many new and wonderful memories, surrounded by loved ones that made life worth living. But she couldn’t help but wonder how her life would be different if Spike had been there to enjoy it with her. What would have happened if Spike hadn’t burned up in the Hellmouth, if he’d never been given the amulet?
Nibbling her lip, Buffy breathed deeply as she recalled another moment in vivid detail…
‘He sat on the porch in silence, staring at nothing as he let out a steady stream of smoke before dropping the spent cigarette and grounding the ashes under a black Doc Marten. Scuffing his boot, he scooted the remnants off the step to join the cigarette butt graveyard that was forming at his feet. The moonlight glistened in his platinum hair, starkly contrasting the black leather of his newly re-acquired duster. His shoulders were slumped and his back stiffened, and she knew he’d sensed her presence. Approaching him cautiously, Buffy paused when she stood beside him on the steps, looking down at him and waiting for an acknowledgement.
It took several long moments of standing in silence before one came.
“Beautiful, aren’t they?”
His voice was husky and low, and Buffy knitted her eyebrows together, taken aback by his words.
“What?” She inquired.
‘Oh God, he’s beginning to sound like Drusilla.’
Buffy let out a soft sigh, studying his profile as he tilted his head upwards, blue eyes scanning the night sky as though some sort of answer were hidden amidst those brightly sparkling orbs that littered the darkness. Swallowing hard, Buffy cautiously lowered herself, taking a seat beside Spike. Still, he didn’t look at her, which worried her slightly. Finding herself at a loss for words, she simply mimicked his actions, tilting her head to observe the same thing he did and noticing, for the first time, just how beautiful those stars really were.
When she finally turned her head back in Spike’s direction, she found him looking at her, those expressive eyes darkened to a midnight blue as they searched her face for something, anything.
“I’m sorry,” She blurted softly. A tight, ironical smile formed on Spike’s lips.
“Don’t need your apologies, slayer.” Buffy cringed at the coldness in his voice. But then, she supposed she deserved as much. Inhaling sharply, she tried again.
“Look,” His eyes pierced through hers, glowing with their own fire. “I wasn’t exactly Mr. Etiquette, m’self earlier. I shouldn’t ‘ve walked out on your speech like that.” He pursed his lips, tilting his head ever so slightly to one side. “No use flogging a dead horse,” He added under his breath. Buffy eyed him warily before bowing her head apologetically, studying her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap.
“I still shouldn’t have said those things.” He shrugged.
“It was bound to come out sooner or later, luv.”
Shaking her head, Buffy opened her mouth to speak but was cut off once again.
“I was turning into a total ponce, a weakling,” He mumbled. “Just needed a firm kick in the ass to get me going is all.”
“Yeah, well, what I gave you was more like a kick in the balls.” His eyes widened, and he looked at her, stunned speechless.
“It’s true,” She continued, meeting his eyes. “I got carried away, and I ended up cutting you down, all of you.”
Spike took a moment to absorb the honesty of her statement. “I was a bit brassed off at first, yeah, I’ll admit it. But I understand what you were doing. Needed to slam the gavel, rule with an iron fist and all that rot. I shouldn’t have expected special treatment.”
Falling silent for a minute, Buffy nodded. Spike seemed to have come to terms with what happened, but he still seemed somewhat distanced, and Buffy knew more needed to be said to smooth things over between them.
“No matter what I said earlier, just know that I-” She paused, her eyes rolling upward as she searched for fitting words. “Wow, this is hard…” She swallowed, catching her breath. “You getting your soul back was such a brave thing to do. It… means a lot to me, and I don’t want you to think it doesn’t.”
Spike looked momentarily touched by her admission.
“So, I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” She finished, biting her lip as she anticipated his response.
“Told you, no need for apologies, Buffy. Doesn’t really suit either of us, does it?” He smirked. “‘Sides, had you not said what you did, I might not’ve been able to axe the baddie ‘n bring you back from that portal.”
Buffy felt her eyes mist over slightly at that, though she quickly pushed the tears back before he could notice.
“Thank you for saving me,” She muttered, and when she once again met his eyes, she found herself unable to resist the particular compulsion that screamed in the back of her mind. Not even pausing to think, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. His surprise lasted only an instant as he responded almost immediately, his cool mouth gliding over hers and yet never deepening the kiss. It was such a simple act, and yet it made her heart leap into her throat and her body erupt with tingles. The kiss was soft, feather light and fleeting, and it was over before either could register what had even happened. When her eyes fluttered open, she noticed Spike had failed to do the same, seemingly afraid to look at her.
“Don’t,” She interrupted softly, silencing him. Her voice was a mere whisper, breathless and timid. “Let’s just be who we are tonight, ok?”
Taking a deep breath as he arched an eyebrow in confusion, she leaned back, launching into an explanation.
“I think maybe you were having trouble accepting your, um, fanged half, because you thought that’s what I wanted. But I think we have something else in common, because the truth is we both have dark sides…” She looked at him, making sure she had his attention before she continued.
“When I went into that portal tonight, they showed me things… They showed me that the original slayer was infused with a demon. Guess that’s how she became freakishly strong… What I’m saying is that I accept you for who you are, demony parts and all, because you know what I’m finding out more and more everyday? Aside from the fact that life is one big, screwed up mess? It’s that we can’t fight who we are. It doesn’t really work that way.”
He studied her face, averting his eyes for a moment before silently nodding his agreement.
“No, I don’t suppose we can…”
“So let’s just move past this, ok?”
He didn’t question her any further.
As she discreetly slid her hand into his, he returned her grasp weakly, gently tightening his long, slender fingers around hers. Her touch instantly warmed him. He let his thumb move gently over the back of her hand, enjoying the feel of her closeness.
There they sat, side by side in a long and comfortable silence, simply content to be in the other’s company as they gazed at the night sky, hand in hand.’
Smiling fondly, Buffy settled herself into the couch, making herself more comfortable as yet another memory flooded her conscience.
Unable to sleep, she turned in his arms, watching him.
The room was cast in shadow, soft beams of moonlight streaming through the window, and Buffy made a mental note to make sure the curtains were drawn before she left so Spike wouldn’t have to clash with the sunlight in the morning. He lay on his side, one arm strewn haphazardly across her stomach. In the moonlight she could make out the planes of his handsome face, pale skin and chiseled cheekbones. He didn’t breathe, his chest didn’t rise or fall, but Buffy knew this vampire was, in essence, more alive than anyone she’d ever met before.
Vampires were supposed to sleep during the day, but it seemed as though since he’d moved in with Buffy and the potentials, he’d acquired a more human-like sleep schedule, usually falling asleep around the same time she did.
He looked so innocent, so child-like in his sleep that Buffy couldn’t help but smile lightly as he mumbled incoherently to himself. His platinum hair was disheveled, the natural curls breaking free and springing little tendrils across his forehead.
She knew she’d have to get going soon, to do what needed to be done, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him. Not just yet. So instead, she continued to watch him, thinking of what he had done for her that night, the way he’d lifted her up and helped her find strength when she’d been ready to give up completely. He’d been by her side all year, supporting her, there for her when she needed someone to talk to. And for that, she was grateful.
Reaching out a hand, she caressed his face gently and he unconsciously leaned into her touch, purring softly in his sleep. She smiled, thinking the simple reaction adorable as she settled back into the comfort of his arms, enjoying the moment while she could. Before she had to go and finish her mission.
The mission Spike had given her the strength to accomplish.
With that thought in mind, Buffy allowed herself to doze off one last time, the smile never fading from her lips.’
Buffy’s eyes flew open when the doorbell rang, pulling her from her reverie.
Frowning, Buffy peered at the clock hanging above the doorway, realizing it was nearly midnight.
‘Wonder who that could be so late?’ Buffy thought, eyebrows knitted together as she dragged herself to her feet and marched over to the door. But when she swung it open, prepared to chew out the rude visitor that had dared bother her so late at night, all words completely left her when she saw who it was.
She gasped, her eyes widening as she stared in disbelief, her throat emitting a small squeak of shock.
It couldn’t be.
But it was.
For staring back at her were those same expressive blue eyes she’d seen so many times in her dreams, lips curled into that sexy smirk that made her heart flutter. Chiseled cheekbones, smooth, pale skin, platinum hair and monochrome black outfit. She could see him, could smell him. He was standing right in front of her, looking just as she remembered him, and very undead.
Their eyes met, and so much was said with one glance, no words needing to be exchanged.
Without hesitating, Buffy welcomed him with open arms, inviting him into her home, and back into her life.
Right where he belonged.
Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/22756.html