Title Spike’s Solace
BIg THankyou to my beta gotkona
Summary Set after The Gift, Spike goes to drown his sorrows at the cemetery.
He stood and waited, the bottle held firmly in his grip, her name etched boldly on the concrete slab. Tears silently coursed down his pale cheeks finally disappearing underneath his chin. Lifting up the bottle, he made a toast to a fallen hero.
He savagely pulled the bottle away from his lips, the whiskey dripping from his mouth and falling onto his jacket.
He giggled quietly to himself. Here he was The Big Bad mourning her crumpled body underneath the ground.
He fell to his knees, the dirt seeping through the denim of his jeans. Tracing her name with his fingertips he closed his eyes imagining her voice.
Hearing her voice he smiled, his head automatically tilted the way it used to annoy her.
“I’m here luv, told you I’d be here.”
The trees rustled and she cautiously stepped from them, her blond hair flowing behind her.
“You look awful. Is Dawn alright?”
“She’s fine. She misses you a lot, I miss you.”
She smiled softly and traced her finger along the gravestone, her name etched on the marble.
“I watched as they buried me. I saw Xander, holding onto Willow. But no one held onto Dawn. I wanted to hold her, wipe her tears away, but I couldn’t.”
Spike ran a shaky hand through his dishevelled curls, realising she was telling him she was there watching everyone.
“I watched from the crypt when they laid your coffin in the ground. I watched as Dawn broke down. No one could console her not even Giles. I waited till it grew dark and went out to her, and she held me so tight.”
Buffy moved towards him as grief took over, his tears coursing down his cheeks. She enveloped him in her arms and stroked the back of his neck. Feeling him calm, she sat back on her knees.
Her hand moved slightly to rest on his knee. He blinked, looked down, and stared at the small hand as the thumb traced circles in his denim. The movement seemed to burn through to his skin.
“You have the bluest eyes Spike, I never noticed them before.”
He smiled as she turned away suddenly embarrassed of her outburst. Removing her hand, she tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed.
“I can’t stay long.”
“What, you only just got here.”
She shifted on her knees so that she leaned closer to him, placing both her hands on his face.
“There’s something coming. I can feel it.” Her hands lingered that little bit longer as she finally stood up and walked to the brush of trees.
“Buffy wait! There’s so much to I want to tell you.” He stumbled as he tried to reach her.
“You will, soon. And Spike, I miss you too.”
Spike’s eyes opened slowly, the television casting shadows on Dawn’s face as she slept.
Usually when he dreamt of Buffy he felt regret, heartbreak. But as he sat there shifting in the chair he felt something else, Hope.
Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/55683.html