My day and first up this little bit of nothing. A much longer fic is coming later.
Title: Winter’s Discontent
Author: Laure
Fandom: BtVS
Pairing: Buffy/Spike
Spoilers: Set sometime after Gone, Season 6
Summary: Spike and Buffy ponder what the hell is between them
Rating: R
Warnings: language, vague mentions of sex
Disclaimer: Not mine
Distribution: Please ask unless you already have permission. Will eventually be up at Moon Madness
A/N: Written for seasonal_spuffy
A/N 2: I started this a couple years ago in response to a lyric challenge. You’ll notice there are no lyrics involved and I can’t even remember what they were supposed to be. *sigh*
A/N 3: At least one more fic coming.
“It doesn’t matter what you do to me, Buffy, I’m not going anywhere.”
He told her that daily, sometimes with different words, always through his actions, and still she beat on him, tore at him, screamed at him. He was an animal, a monster, beneath her.
And, yet, in weak moments, she’d turn to him, burrow into him, trying to hide from the world.
And he’d let her.
They lived night to night, and he never knew what a new sunset would bring. A blow? A kiss? Would she ignore him, scorn him, push him aside? Would she come to him, go to her knees for him, beg for his touch?
That uncertainty kept him going that Winter, that and losing himself in her tiny, hot body.
Spike knew it was doing neither of them any lasting good, even while he watched her eyes cross and felt her body shudder in another orgasm. Momentary pleasure and release were satisfying only to a point.
So, he never let himself go beyond that point and dream of tomorrow.
For Buffy’s part, she was continually baffled and growing more and more angry at her inability to push him permanently away. It wasn’t like it was something with which she was unfamiliar. Her friends barely talked to her any more. Her sister was constantly angry with her, and Giles…Giles had left her.
But Spike stayed. No matter what she did to him, how she treated him. She couldn’t drive him away. Sometimes she could see the hurt in his eyes when she called him a monster, when she told him he was worthless, but still he stayed and was always there for her.
And sometimes there were good moments between them, tenderness and sweetness, that came close to caring, close to the emotions she dared not believe existed for them. No matter how many times Spike said he loved her, while a part of her glowed, another part of her refused to accept the truth.
He knew those moments of tenderness only stirred her to fight him even more, but he wouldn’t give those up for anything short of a declaration of love. While she beat him and cursed him and fucked him so hard they both ached, he clung to the memories of a gentle caress, a loving kiss, more determined than ever to someday force her to accept the truth of their relationship.
Just as she grew more determined to force him to accept that there was nothing between them but bitterness and empty sex.
And, so, through that Winter and heading into Spring they existed in limbo, neither getting what they really wanted, only occasionally getting something they needed, trapped together in whatever was between them. Both knew it had to come to a head some time.
Each wondered if they’d survive the resulting fall-out.
End
Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/132382.html
