Ficlet: Bots”R”us Spuffy Wedding Edition

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Title: Bots”R”us Spuffy Wedding Edition
Author: red_sunflower
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Spike and Buffy are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. I’m just playing with them.
Summary: Do you own this Spuffy set edition? If so, read this.
Author’s note: Thank you very much to my wonderful beta dusty273.

Dear Bots”R”us customer,

We have gotten a good number of calls and emails from you regarding the newest release of Spuffybots: “The Spuffy Wedding Edition”

We advise you to avoid interfering with Buffybot’s plans for her wedding. This new version has been upgraded with the “I know you’re jealous v.3” software. This will upgrade the bot’s language abilities –something we knew it was lacking of- to the point of starting a verbal war with you.

We discourage you to flirt with the Spikebot, as well. He will reject your advances in the most impolite way possible. If you want to engage in a relationship with a Spikebot we recommend you acquire a “Spike, the Single Edition” bot from the closest Bots”R”us store near you.

We are working on solving the “sex on the owner’s bed bug”; until it is not solved we recommend you locking your bedroom to prevent the bots to access it. Also, it’s important that no minors are left alone when the bots are turned on; this is in order to prevent children to witness NC-17 interaction between the bots.

We want to remind you to keep any Angelbot you may own turned off and away from the Buffybot. If an Angelbot finds a Buffybot it will try to seduce her which will trigger the “I know we are not soulmates” firewall. The Buffybot will proceed to kick the Angelbot’s ass and we’re sure you would like to keep the Angelbot intact as it is not being manufactured anymore –due to low sales.

In the case that an Angelbot finds the Spikebot, you must not worry. The Spikebot will brag and brag again about his upcoming wedding and if the Angelbot tries to engage in a fight a single kick from the Spikebot will be enough to let the Angelbot unconscious but safe.

Please, be patient. The Buffybot will turn to you for advice on the preparations of her wedding and it expects you to play an active part on it. If your bot zones out or stares at the infinite is just a normal reaction of being in love.

We assure you that the Spuffybots will patrol daily in spite of their tight schedule and the demon population in your neighborhood will keep decreasing.

Remember, it’s recommended that you keep your bots in a far corner of the house, if possible, in a place where noise is filtered. Both bots run the Kamasutra v.6 software so expect debauchery to happen.

We hope you enjoy this set as you have enjoyed previous releases.

Bots”R”us

 

That’s it. Thank you to enigmaticblues  for her time and efforts to keep the Spuffy love alive.

Originally posted at http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/396029.html

red_sunflower

red_sunflower